How is April and May going? 🙂
E was indeed right to ask me that question on my last blog post NoSpend in March. It’s almost June. I left you hanging with I’m going to put real effort in writing meaningful posts.
To be honest, I couldn’t.
The idea of writing with all the extra fuzz was really not appealing to me. With fuzz I mean all the work you should do for search engine optimization, especially putting in the effort to share the post on all social media channels to maybe reach one extra person. At first I thought that I just had to push through as – no discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. You know, though, that things are off when later on it doesn’t produce a harvest of righteousness, but exhaustion instead. Where did it went wrong? I have the feeling that it’s the following which we all know very well, but tend to forget:
Do what you want, don’t do what you don’t want
Keep in mind that I’m not an advocate of just doing what feels good. That’s what kids do. But when you devise a plan to follow it, make sure that plan is in accordance with your personal goals. It’s super easy to just do otherwise because of expectations from other people or yourself (which – spoiler alert – is also based on expectations of other people).
You do things differently?
Congrats, you’re a b*tch. Or a dummy. Or both. People don’t like it when you don’t do what they expect. In their mind it makes you look stupid, or careless or whatever negative adjective you can think of that fits the occasion. It makes them feel either superior or insecure. That’s not what we intended! But, let’s face it, the fact that they feel that way is their problem. Not yours. They shouldn’t have had these expectations in the first place.
If you do what others expect you to do, stop right now! Listen to them and think it through. Listen to yourself, too. Do what you think is the right thing to do. Learn how to say no polity, in case you disagree. Become a thick-skinned person. You live for yourself, not for anyone else.
What if it’s you that has high expectations of yourself and your life?
Unless you have found your vocation, have you ever asked yourself why you even have that expectation? No? Congrats, you probably got brainwashed. Why? Because, you didn’t do the necessary critical thinking whether this is the right thing for you personally or it’s just you following the mainstream. It can be, but it can’t, too. 50/50 chance that you do what you don’t actually want to. E.g. don’t ask yourself what you’re going to study in college. Ask yourself first if college is the right tool for achieving your goal. Don’t just buy the crock pot that seems inadmissible nowadays instead of a less admirable random slow cooker. Check if a slow cooker, pressure cooker or similar expensive kitchen gimmicks are really inadmissible in your kitchen in a way it’s worth all the money you could invest otherwise.
As you see, it’s about the big and the little things.
It’s in every choice. Not every choice has the same impact, though. The difficulty lies within the fact that we can’t always know beforehand what does have lot’s if impact and what doesn’t. It’s often not what it seems to be. Usually your house won’t burn down when you buy that crock pot. But be careful. Whether a choice is impactful or not depends only on your personal situation not of the size society of it. It might as well be possible that you did study law – big choice – while you already made some ok-money as a photographer. Though you actually like this new field of expertise that you probably wouldn’t have chosen if you were completely unbiased. No biggie, life is still good. At the same time it could well be possible that you bought the crock pot – small choice – because of which you can’t pay the rent and thus you get some money from a payday lender that asks 280% interest via the tiny letters you didn’t see. – The disastrous ending takes place at the salvation army.
The above happened to me with blogging, but, fortunately, with less drama. On the impact-scale I’d put it on mediocre impact. When you blog you have to think of how to attract readers in this competitive world, so you have to do this, this, this and this. Jeez, really? I just want to write whenever I feel like it about whatever I feel like. Nothing more, nothing less. You will fail, stupid. And there I went starting to use every social media platform out there. It’s a small thing to do. Mind, however, that I figured a year before that I hate using most social media platforms. It took me some extra time to figure out that I actually don’t have to interact with social media at all. I’m not stupid not using social media for blogging. In fact, I was stupid not questioning this statement. Yes, social media can do good for your blog. But do I personally fail if I don’t take advantage of it? The blog isn’t intended to make me money or something similar that needs lot’s of readers. So, how exactly can I fail? Right. I can’t. The statement therefore may be true, but it is not relevant to me. I chose to do it differently than what expected.
Boy, it felt great!
Now, since I know that I don’t have to share a post everywhere, I actually want to write again! See? Small change, big impact. The only sharing I’ll keep is posting blog posts in Facebook groups whenever I find it appropriate since I interact a lot in those for fun.
By the way, the Minimalists showed me that my thinking on social media was right. Reassurance is a great thing (though not necessary). Like E did for my blogging. Thanks!