Tabula Rasa

Today is a special day. Today is the 1st of July. Today starts the second half of 2018. Today, I’m halfway on the #nobuy journey!

Yeah. Dream on, little dreamer. That dreamer is me. I noticed that special day not because it’s marked as a milestone in my agenda, but when I decided to pick a day to start over.

What happened?

So basically the last months were everything expect intentional besides my fun factor. Life could be worse, I know. But, still. April gave a little glimpse of my future not-so-intentional lifestyle. Not based on my spending, but what I’ve put on the exception list #excuses. I could have seen this coming.

I won’t go into detail of all the little why’s for doing or not doing certain things. This is because I’m not sure whether those are excuses or reasons. Summarized these why’s were on the spectrum from bounty beach weather occasions that were a disguise in blessing up to an injury after a seemingly successful attempt to start running and wants that felt so intense it must be a need. One lead to another. Nothing that needed some sort of commitment was done the past months.

I have the feeling that all the little why’s were rooted in one big why. I tried to do it all intentional. Guess what. It was super exhausting! Mentally and physically. When I started to feel tired every minute of the day  I grabbed every “reason” to take a break. All those little breaks turned into one big fat sabbatical. One without limitations. I went from one extreme to another. Limitless living sounds fun. However, all these intentional commitments with yourself do have benefits. We start them for a reason. Limitless living is careless living. Caress living will hurt you eventually. That’s why the non-sporty, consuming version of me started to feel like sh*t. And maybe even worse: I broke my #nobuy promise!

The good thing about knowing how to feel great due to an intentional lifestyle, is that feeling like sh*t is always your wake up call. I’m not going to continue my former intentional lifestyle, though. I’ll start over with an improved version of it since my version clearly missed something important. Therefore, I’ll adapt the ruling by adding the following sentence to my thought process:

An intentional lifestyle is not exhausting. 

Think of it. Life shouldn’t be exhausting. If your lifestyle is exhausting sooner or later, you clearly forgot something important to consider when shaping your way of living. After all, the idea of intentional living is that you feel good, not exhausted.

Intentionality is not the same as Insta-perfect. You know, the girls on Instagram that seem to do EVERYTHING right according to the books. Even their raw vegan dinners are photogenic. Not that I tried to life up to these new Jones. Though, I did put my own standard too high. So much so, that taking breaks made me feel guilty. Guilty about sleeping in, watching tv, not going to the gym, not learning the new language and what not. A break was equal to failure. And THAT’S what’s made life exhausting.

We forget sometimes that intentionality is also about balance. Not only is limitless living too much, a very restrictive life is too much, too. It’s OK to sleep in. It’s OK to not hit the gym. It’s OK to eat the cake. It’s OK to binge watch. It’s all OK for as long as it comes in moderation. I’m not talking about failure. In moderation, those are OK, too. I’m talking about little breaks from discipline that are an essential part of an intentional lifestyle.

What I’ve written does not go well with a complete restriction on buying, at first. Though, breaks can also occur after a set period of time of dedication. Thus I’m doing the @nobuy again, but this time I’ll start with a set period of six months. Since I did reach my saving goal for our real sabbatical starting in 4 month anyways, I’ll also allow myself some more room for entertainment.

And now it’s time to shut up and do something.

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